Praise Poorly Eked

Sorry, folks, but I’m going to have to write about Angelina Jolie. You have left me no choice.

I think I must be missing something, because I’m seeing a lot of chatter out there about Ms. Jolie’s alleged bravery, about her incredible courage. I’m seeing lengthy declarations of admiration all over peoples’ Facebook pages. And, somehow, the actress’s surgery has sparked a series of heated debates over women’s rights.

My question is: what’s with all the hubbub?

She has led a fabulous life. She has accomplished her dreams, and then some. She has risen to a level of stardom that seems to have staying power—in an industry that encourages its female talent to retire at age 23. Also, she can buy you.

So, to increase the odds of being able to enjoy this sensational and glamorous lifestyle for as long as humanly possible, she decided to cut off her tits. Because she might get cancer. Probably a good decision, given her genetic diagnosis; but, still… is it really, like, brave?

Look, I’m all for cheering on cancer survivors. They go through this stuff every day, and never look for an applause (in fact, a cancer survivor once told me that it is annoying when people go up to him and say, “You’re so brave.”) Cancer specialists, too. When was the last time you saw an article written by a cancer specialist provoke a bunch of righteous lauding on Twitter?

Will I be cheering on one of the wealthiest celebrities on the planet for going through preemptive surgery to reduce the risk of getting any cancer at all? Sorry, but that seems entirely unnecessary. She didn’t win a battle—she paid good money to avoid one. I’ll save my rah-rah-rah’s for people who never get to hear it.

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